Blame it on La Lanne
When something goes wrong
That sweatsuited scapegoat
For the exercising bomb
Put the blame on Jack La Lanne
He's our man
My lawn turned yellow
My goldfish died
I squirted some Ben-Gay
Right in my eye
He's the fucking cause
That sweatsuited scapegoat
With the atomic sock
When he exercises me
I know he doesn't shower
When I see him beatin' meat
He makes me want to shower.