My Bologna Weird Al Yankovic

My Bologna [My Sharona/The Knack/1979] Oooh, my little hungry one, Hungry one. Open up a package of my bologna. Oooh, I think the toast is done, The toast is done.

Inactive Weird Al Yankovic

I'm waking up in Cheeto dust My belly's covered with pizza crust I'm using my inhaler now wheezes I'm out of shape, fattening up I'm sipping Coke from a solo cup Donut crumbs are upon my lips, whoa The

Dead Car Battery Blues Weird Al Yankovic

yeah I got hydraulic fluid leakin' in my shoes And the dead car battery blues You know, can't visit my girlfriend I can't go to school I can't go anywhere Gotta stay in my room like a fool '

My Own Eyes Weird Al Yankovic

whole life Without seeing that With my own eyes I see things that'd drive a normal man insane Wish I could disconnect my brain From my own eyes I saw a mime get hacked to death With an imaginary cleaver

Stop Dragging My Car Around Weird Al Yankovic

[Stop Draggin' My Heart Around/Stevie Nicks with Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers/1981] Had to park my car for just five minutes. I had to go inside to use the phone.

Cable TV Weird Al Yankovic

leave my apartment 'Cause there's just so much for me to see On my cable TV (Cable TV) Cable TV(Cable TV) Well, if you need to find me You know where I'll be Watchin' my cable TV, yeah Watchin

Velvet Elvis Weird Al Yankovic

My life, it used to be incomplete, Till I saw what I was looking for at a drive-in swap meet. My life it won't be the same again. Now I'm proud to say the king lives on inside my den.

Confessions Part III Weird Al Yankovic

Watch this These are my confessions Just when I thought I said all I can say I came up with more secrets to tell you today These are my confessions Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me So

Ringtone Weird Al Yankovic

Once, not very long ago, I was respected, I was popular (popular, ooh) But now I hang my head in shame (ahh, ooh) My life is filled with such regret A bad mistake I can't forget And now I'll never be the

Pancreas Weird Al Yankovic

Oooh oooh oooh ee-oooh oooh oooh Ahh ahh ahh ahh ahh ahh-oooh oooh Oooooh I'm always thinkin' 'bout it I don't know what I'd do without it I love, I really love My pancreas My spleen just doesn't

Baby Likes Burping Weird Al Yankovic

You know my baby likes burping You know my baby's kinda nauseating [burps] My little vulgar one is so gross 'Cause when I hold her in my arms so close she goes [burps] And out in public it's

The Hot Rocks Polka Weird Al Yankovic

The Hot Rocks Polka [/The Rolling Stones] [It's Only Rock 'n' Roll (But I Like It)] If I could stick my hand in my heart, Spill it all over the stage, Would it satisfy you, would it slide on by

King of Suede Weird Al Yankovic

(Is my size up there?) We got tailors to fix it, if it comes out wrong. (Is my size up there?) We got all kinds of sweatshirts, you can take your pick. (Is my size up there?)

King Of Suede Weird Al Yankovic

(Is my size up there?) We got tailors to fix it, if it comes out wrong. (Is my size up there?) We got all kinds of sweatshirts, you can take your pick. (Is my size up there?)

First World Problems Weird Al Yankovic

My maid is cleaning my bathroom, so I can't take a shower When I do, the water starts getting cold after an hour I couldn't order off the breakfast menu, cause I slept in till two Then I filled up on bread

You Don't Love Me Anymore Weird Al Yankovic

of self-esteem That time that you made it with the whole hockey team You used to think I was nice Now you tell all your friends that I'm the Antichrist Oh, why did you disconnect the breaks in my

White And Nerdy Weird Al Yankovic

Jock skills I'm a champion of D&D MC Escher that's my favorite MC Keep your 40, I'll just have an Earl Grey tea My rims never spin to the contrary You'll find they're quite stationary All of my action

Syndicated Inc. Weird Al Yankovic

My whole family Loves Three's Company See the reruns constantly There on my TV Syndicated Incorporated Well, I know what's on the tube I know just what to see Got my TV Guide with me MASH and All In

Alimony Weird Al Yankovic

(cheering) Here she comes now, wants her alimony Bleedin' me dry as a bony bony Workin' three jobs just to stay in debt now Well, first she took my nest egg then she took the nest I said yeah

Callin` In Sick Weird Al Yankovic

Hit my snooze alarm for the 27th time Just don't feel like goin' to work - I think I'll call my boss, then I'm Gonna hack and cough and wheeze Swear I've got some strange disease What's that little

Callin' In Sick Weird Al Yankovic

Hit my snooze alarm for the 27th time Just don't feel like goin' to work - I think I'll call my boss, then I'm Gonna hack and cough and wheeze Swear I've got some strange disease What's that little twerp

One of Those Days Weird Al Yankovic

Got to work late 'cause my alarm was busted The boss chewed me out and everybody's disgusted 'Cause it's just one of those days It's just one of those days I lost one of my socks in the drier

One More Minute Weird Al Yankovic

You ain't gonna break my heart in two. 'Cause I'd rather get a hundred thousand paper cuts on my face, Than spend one more minute with you.

Gotta Boogie Weird Al Yankovic

Gotta boogie Gotta boogie Gotta boogie Gotta boogie Gotta boogie (gotta boogie) Gotta boogie (gotta boogie) Gotta boogie (gotta boogie) Gotta boogie on my finger and I can't shake it off Well

Albuquerque [1] Weird Al Yankovic

And my dear, sweet mother She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train And she leaned right down next to me And she said "IT'S GOOD FOR YOU" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck

Talk Soup Weird Al Yankovic

I dated Siamese twins I slept with Bigfoot, too Get me on Sally Jesse Put me on Donahue 'Cause I wanna tell the whole world about it Right now My dog's a narcoleptic My mom's a circus freak

weenie in a bottle Weird Al Yankovic

It feels like I've been alone too long With no girls around, My mind was wondering, Thinking of some way, to release it I looked in the kitchen, Saw some crisco oil and thats when my blood started to

Generic Blues Weird Al Yankovic

I woke up this morning Then I went back to bed Said I woke up this morning Then I went right back to bed Got a funny kind of feelin' like I got broken glass in my underwear And a herd of wild pigs

Airline Amy Weird Al Yankovic

Met this pretty young stewardess on a non-stop flight She showed me to my seat and it was love at first sight Now lately I've been flying to all kinds of places That I never really wanted to go '

Cavity Search Weird Al Yankovic

Listen to the Muzak Hearin' people scream Sittin' in the waiting room Readin' crappy magazines With a toothache This is it, pal Root Canal My molars are impacted I'm gettin' gum disease I'm

Polkas on 45 Weird Al Yankovic

You're my woman. Got my mojo risin'. Mister Mojo risin'. Hey! [In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida/Iron Butterfly] In a gadda da vida, honey, Don'tcha know that I love you.

I'll Sue Ya Weird Al Yankovic

They never said I shouldn't use their microwave to dry off my cat I sued Earthlink cuz I called 'em up and they had the nerve to put me on hold I sued Starbucks cuz I spilled a Frappaccino in my lap and

I Can't Watch This Weird Al Yankovic

I can't watch this My my my my TV makes me so bored Makes me say, oh my lord What is this garbage here?

Like A Surgeon Weird Al Yankovic

Like a surgeon, Organ transplants are my line. Better give me all your gauze, nurse, This patient's fading fast. Complications have set in, Don't know how long he'll last.

Genius In France Weird Al Yankovic

By Al Yankovic I'm not the brightest crayon in the box Everyone says I'm dumber than a bag of rocks I barely even know how to put on my own pants But I'm a genius in France (yeah), genius in France

Polka Party! Weird Al Yankovic

[Sussudio/Phil Collins] There's a girl that's been on my mind, All the time, Su-su-sussudio. Oh yeah. Now she don't even know my name. But I think she loves me all the same, Su-sussudio.

Craigslist Weird Al Yankovic

You've got a 65 Chevy Malibu With automatic drive, a custom paint job too I'll trade you for my old wheelbarrow And a slightly-used sombrero And I'll even throw in a stapler, if you insist Craigslist I'm

Tacky Weird Al Yankovic

It might seem crazy, wearing stripes and plaid I instagram every meal I've had All my used liquor bottles are on display We can go to see a show but I'll make you pay because I'm tacky Wear my belt with

A Complicated Song (Parody of "Complicated" by Avril Lavigne) Weird Al Yankovic

'Cause right now I'd do anything to just get my bowels evacuated In the bathroom...

Germs "Weird Al" Yankovic

Sometimes I really want to be alone But that's one state I'm never in Because I know that I've got millions upon millions Of tiny, one-celled organisms living on my skin (Germs) I rub and scrub

A Complicated Song (Parody of "Complicated" by Avril Lavigne) Weird Al Yankovic

'Cause right now I'd do anything to just get my bowels evacuated In the bathroom...

Handy Weird Al Yankovic

First things first, I'm a craftsman craftsman Remodelling is my only passion it's my passion And I'm the greatest in the business Want referrals, yo My clientele will bear you witness right, right I can

You Make Me Weird Al Yankovic

You make me wanna slam my head against the wall. You make me do the limbo. You make me wanna buy a slurpee at the mall. You make me watch the Gong Show.

The White Stuff Weird Al Yankovic

The first one was a sweet one Second one was a blast Soon I finished off the bag, ate 'em up real fast You can see 'em in my teeth Tell it when I talk Had so many my pancreas just went into shock

Living With a Hernia Weird Al Yankovic

[Living in America/James Brown/1985] All I do is grunt and groan Hurts me to walk anywhere Went to see my physician, Dr.

Crampton Comes Alive Weird Al Yankovic

Well, woke up this morning With a Big Mac in my hand What fries, whose fries Where's my Hot Apple Pies Must be a joke I can't believe there's no Coke Thank you, thank you, thank you

A Complicated Song Weird Al Yankovic

A COMPLICATED SONG Parody of "Complicated" by Avril Lavigne New lyrics by Al Yankovic Uh huh... extra cheese Uh huh, uh huh... save a piece for me Pizza party at your house I went just to check

Complicated Song Weird Al Yankovic

A COMPLICATED SONG Parody of "Complicated" by Avril Lavigne New lyrics by Al Yankovic Uh huh... extra cheese Uh huh, uh huh... save a piece for me Pizza party at your house I went just

Amish Paradise Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain But that's just perfect for an Amish like me You know, I shun fancy things like electricity

Skipper Dan Weird Al Yankovic

I starred in every high school play Blew every drama teacher away I graduated first in my class at Juilliard Took every acting workshop I could And I dreamed of Hollywood While I read my Uta Hagen and