One More Minute Weird Al Yankovic

I'm glad that you found somebody new, 'Cause I'd rather spend eternity eating shards of broken glass, Than spend one more minute with you. I guess I might seem kinda bitter.

Why Does This Always Happen To Ne Weird Al Yankovic

By Al Yankovic I was watching my TV one night when they broke in with a special report About some devastating earthquake in Peru There were thirty thousand crushed to death, even more were buried

Why Does This Always Happen To Me? Weird Al Yankovic

I was watching my TV one night when they broke in with a special report About some devastating earthquake in Peru There were thirty thousand crushed to death, even more were buried alive On the Richter

Another One Rides the Bus Weird Al Yankovic

We're already packed in like sardines, But we're stoppin' to pick up more. Look out! Another one rides the bus-ah. Another one rides the bus-ah. And another comes on, And another comes on.

I Can't Watch This Weird Al Yankovic

Wanna cover my eyes and plug my ears It sucks, and that's no lie It's about as much fun as watching paint dry Lowers my IQ one notch And that's the reason why, uh, I can't watch I told you

Christmas at Ground Zero Weird Al Yankovic

sirens blare It's Christmas at Ground Zero The button has been pressed The radio just let us know That this is not a test Everywhere the atom bombs are droppin' It's the end of all humanity No more

Gandhi II Weird Al Yankovic

No more Mr. Passive Resistance. He's out to kick some butt. This is one bad mother. You don't want to mess with him. "Don't move, slimeball." He's a one-man wrecking crew.

Dog Eat Dog Weird Al Yankovic

I'll have some coffee with a carcinogenic sweetener Hold on a minute, just one more jelly donut They'll never miss it...No, they'll never miss it!

Why Does This Always Happen To Me Weird Al Yankovic

I was watching my TV one night when they broke in with a special report About dsome devistating earthquake in Peru There were thirty thousand crushed to death, even more were buried alive On the Richter

Young, Dumb, and Ugly Weird Al Yankovic

three-day stubble, our name spells trouble T-R-U-B-E-L Raisin' hell, bending the rules just a little We're living only for thrills We squeeze our toothpaste tubes from the middle And wait until the last minute

The Brandy Bunch Weird Al Yankovic

Say, you can watch 60 minutes, Even Captain Kangaroo, But there's only one set, So whatever you watch Well, you know I gotta watch it too.

Confessions Part III Weird Al Yankovic

Watch this These are my confessions Just when I thought I said all I can say I came up with more secrets to tell you today These are my confessions Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me So

Traffic Jam Weird Al Yankovic

Traffic Jam I haven't moved one inch from this here spot Traffic Jam The freeway's one big parking lot Traffic Jam My radiator's boiling hot And I'm stuck right here in the middle (right here in

The Brady Bunch Weird Al Yankovic

can watch Johnny Carson You can watch Phil Donahue And you can use TV Guide to help you decide With capsulized review Say, you can watch 60 Minutes Even Captain Kangaroo But there's only one

Albuquerque [2] Weird Al Yankovic

Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel But I made a a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought

Cavity Search Weird Al Yankovic

novocaine Help me out here 'Cause I'm so severe Pain Please stop for a bit Let me rinse and spit Numb me, drill me Floss me, bill me You validate my parking I think that I'm okay But you make one

Spam Weird Al Yankovic

Carry some money to help you buy more. The tab is there to open the can. The can is there to hold in the spam. Oh, spam on the table at home.

Dare To Be Stupid Weird Al Yankovic

Put down your chainsaw and listen to me It's time for us to join in the fight It's time to let your babies grow up to be cowboys It's time to let the bedbugs bite You better put all your eggs in one

This Is The Life Weird Al Yankovic

Who could ask for more? This is the life! You're dead for a real long time. You just can't prevent it. So if money can't buy happiness, I guess I'll have to rent it.

Fat Weird Al Yankovic

'Cause I'm the king of cellulite Ham on, ham on, ham on whole wheat, all right My zippers bust, my buckles break I'm too much man for you to take The pavement cracks when I fall down I've got more

Couch Potato Weird Al Yankovic

[Intro] Look, if you had one shot To sit on your lazy butt And watch all the TV you ever wanted Until your brain turned to mush Would you go for it or just let it slip?

Couch Potato (Parody of "Lose Yourself" by Eminem) Weird Al Yankovic

Look - if you had - one shot - To sit on your lazy butt And watch all the TV you ever wanted Until your brain turned to mush Would you go for it Or just let it slip?

Living With a Hernia Weird Al Yankovic

tender location Living with a hernia Had enough humiliation Living with a hernia Got to have an operation I live with a hernia Can't get up, can't bend over Now I live with a hernia Wait a minute

Jerry Springer "Weird Al" Yankovic

It's been one week since we got to see Cheatin' lovers and cousins that marry Five days since they had the show With the hermaphrodite, the slut, and the crack ho Three days since we heard the tale

Party Dt The Leper Colony Weird Al Yankovic

PARTY AT THE LEPER COLONY by Al Yankovic Finger food and an ice cold keg It won't cost you an arm and a leg Dance all night to a rotten band Come on, people, let's give 'em a hand Saturday night

Party at the leper colony Weird Al Yankovic

leper colony Oh, there's a party at the leper colony Hey, hey Hey now, buddy, don't you give me no lip Sorry I was using your head for dip There's a guy in the hot tub, I don't know who Wait a minute

Close But No Cigar Weird Al Yankovic

And I loved her more than Marlon Brando loved souffle. She was gorgeous, she was charming, yeah she was perfect in every way.

Eat It Weird Al Yankovic

of food you hate You won't get no dessert 'till you clean off your plate So eat it Don't you tell me you're full Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it Get yourself an egg and beat it Have some more

Genius In France Weird Al Yankovic

By Al Yankovic I'm not the brightest crayon in the box Everyone says I'm dumber than a bag of rocks I barely even know how to put on my own pants But I'm a genius in France (yeah), genius in France

One of Those Days Weird Al Yankovic

Got to work late 'cause my alarm was busted The boss chewed me out and everybody's disgusted 'Cause it's just one of those days It's just one of those days I lost one of my socks in the drier

Trapped In The Drive - Thru Weird Al Yankovic

And two medium root beers No, just one, we'll split it." Then I said "I'm guessin' that You're probably not too bright... So read me back my order Let's make sure you got it right."

I Want a New Duck Weird Al Yankovic

One that won't try to bite. One that won't chew a hole in my socks. One that won't quack all night. I want a new duck. One with big webbed feet.

The Plumbing Song Weird Al Yankovic

Warran] Baby, I sure wish I could lend you a hand But plumbing's one thing I don't understand It's true (haven't got a clue) B-b-b-baby, I can tell you've got a big problem When I flush the john

The Biggest Ball Of Twine In Minnesota Weird Al Yankovic

Well, I had two weeks of vacation time coming After working all year down at Big Roy's Eating And Plumbing So one night when my family the I were gathered 'round the dinner table I said, "Kids, if

I Remember Larry Weird Al Yankovic

inside my jockstrap And filled my toothpaste tube up with glue All those wedgies he gave all those shoestrings he tied All those brownies he made with the Ex-lax inside Oh Lar, I swear it was a laugh a minute

Germs "Weird Al" Yankovic

Sometimes I really want to be alone But that's one state I'm never in Because I know that I've got millions upon millions Of tiny, one-celled organisms living on my skin (Germs) I rub and scrub

I'm So Sick Of You Weird Al Yankovic

know too many females Who make a habit of biting their toenails Wo, every time you call you drive me up the wall Honey just the sight of you makes my flesh crawl I'm sure we'd be happy together If only one

Amoeba Weird Al Yankovic

The Amoeba is so small you need A microscope to see one It hurts the eyes, but I'll concede, I'd rather see then be one They never sing or laugh or talk Or eat fondeaux or ciche And if you take

Lasagna Weird Al Yankovic

Have-a more fettucini. Ay, you getting too skeeny, you gotta to eat. Ay, mange, mange! Ay, you-a pass the lasagna! A-don't you get any on ya, you sloppy peeg. Have-a more ravioli.

Airline Amy Weird Al Yankovic

time With the sutest flight attendant I know You set my ever-lovin' heart on fire, Airline Amy Tell me I'm your favorite frequent flyer, Airline Amy Found a little piece of heaven on a 747 And no one

TRASH DAY Weird Al Yankovic

TRASH DAY Parody of "Hot In Herre" by Nelly New Lyrics by Al Yankovic Rotten So rotten here So rotten Oh It was like, the last day before trash day My place was gettin' kinda nas-tay Even

Trash Day (Parody of "Hot In Herre" by Nelly) Weird Al Yankovic

So rotten here So rotten Oh It was like, the last day before trash day My place was gettin' kinda nas-tay Even though the garbage I knew would reek (You know) Thought that I could leave it for one

Hardware Store Weird Al Yankovic

HARDWARE STORE by Al Yankovic Nothin' ever (ever) happens in this town Feelin' low down (down), not a lot to do around here I thought that I would go right out of my mind Until a friend told me

Toothless People Weird Al Yankovic

Toothless people...old and feeble, what I say No more of those pearly whites will they possess Their oral hygiene is frightful...a mess Lots of 'em suffering from trench mouth and gum disease At

weenie in a bottle Weird Al Yankovic

No-one wanted to be with me, had to make my dream come true I wanted to hump something, I didn't know what to do It seemed like a good idea, and no-one else was around I stuck my weenie in a bottle, and

Attack Of The Radioactive Hamsters From A Planet N Weird Al Yankovic

Well well, look at that hamster, he's as big as a blimp, And there's one the size of Central Park. They're usin' telephone poles to pick their teeth.

Attack Of The Radioactive Hamsters From A Planet Weird Al Yankovic

I hope they're not plannin' to stay Who invited them here anayway Attack of the radioactive hamsters from a planet near Mars Well, well, look at that hamster, he's as big as a blimp And there's one

Free Delivery Weird Al Yankovic

Late at night, you're hungry You're craving some pizza Let me be the one that you call Olive or anchovy Perhaps pepperoni Anything you want, we've got it all Near, far, I'll jump in my car

Buy Me a Condo Weird Al Yankovic

Wo-o-o, used to live in Jamaica, But I don't live dere no more. Had to change me lifestyle, Do t'ings I never done before. So now I'm just a lonely Rastaman, Living in dis American town.

Do I Creep You Out Weird Al Yankovic

I know that you Don't know me very well We've barely met But I can surely tell No one will ever Love you like I do I like to feel The warm spot on your chair Sometimes I drool And usually