He's So Jolly Bob Rivers

He's so jolly Santa's so jolly Christmas night he's in his sled where he belongs You're looking great, Santa Lost some weight, Santa Red cheeks glowing, ho-ho-ho'ing, you keep growing strong I feel the

There's A Santa Who Looks A Lot Like Elvis Bob Rivers

look at the double chin He's weighing about 310 With golden chains and sequined belt below There's a Santa who looks a lot like Elvis Down at the K-Mart store But the scariest sight to see Is that jolly

Mr. Magoo Bob Rivers

Got a flat in Timbuktu Waiting for AAA And I saw that single headlight through the rain Flagged the geezer in the car down, He was going the wrong way We sped away and left rubber on all four lanes He

I Am Santa Claus Bob Rivers

I am Santa Claus Ho ho ho ho ho Flying Through the snow Can you hear him ho ho ho He's so full of cheer only has to work one day a year Children in their beds Visions of sugar plums fill their heads

All You Need Is Elves Bob Rivers

Elves, elves, elves Elves, elves, elves Santa doesn't shop at Toys "R" Us Doesn't have to fight the Christmas rush He's never out of stock of even the hardest toys and games It's easy Nothing in his sack he

When A Man Loves A Chicken Bob Rivers

When a man loves a chicken He can't keep his mind on nothin' else, He stay in the barn for the good thing he's found. If he is henpecked he can't see it; she can't do no wrong.

Officer Fuhrman Bob Rivers

He likes to set up colored people. He likes to frame the colored people. Officer Fuhrman driving through Brentwood At night with a glove in his bag, his evidence bag.

Walkin' 'Round In Women's Underwear Bob Rivers

It holds me so tight, like handcuffs at night. Walking around in womens underwear In the office there's a guy named Melvin. He pretends that I am Murphy Brown. He'll say "Are you ready?"

Who Put The Stump Bob Rivers

He shoved it up my can And left me stranded on this Christmas tree. (Yeah ...) When this angel heard Chop-ba-ba-bop, di-chop-ba-ba-bop, A dreadful fear went right into my heart.

I Came Upon A Roadkill Deer Bob Rivers

I came upon a roadkill deer A sorrowful sight to behold He lay upon the highway's edge His body was stiff and cold I bet he never saw the car Careening through the snow The lights shone brightly

Wrong Foot Amputated Bob Rivers

Wrong foot amputated Wrong foot amputated He got the wrong foot amputated The doctor had compassion he tried to cure my disease I was sweating on the way to the op room gave me sedatives to put me at ease

Buttcracker Suite Bob Rivers

Magical shorts that disappear Buy your loved one this Noël The kind of gift he can't resell Because it kind of smells If someone else has tried it on Thong! You could be dancing cheek to cheek Thong!

O Come All Ye Grateful Dead-Heads Bob Rivers

rolling papers Don't forget your sleeping bags Oh come get us some floor seats We followed them for four weeks Oh come get us some floor seats To see the Lord Come all ye hippies Throwbacks to the '60's

The Chimney Song Bob Rivers

Well, I waited up for Santa all Christmas night But he never came and it don't seem right. That there's something in the chimney and it doesn't make a sound, But I wish you Merry Christmas.

A Dc Christmas Medley Destiny`s Child

(aaaa..u --aauu) Dashing through the snow On a one-horse open sleigh, Over the fields we go, Laughing all the way; Bells on bob-tail ring, making spirits bright, What fun it is to ride and sing

A 'DC' Christmas Medley Destiny`s Child

Dashing through the snow On a one-horse open sleigh, Over the fields we go, Laughing all the way; Bells on bob-tail ring, making spirits bright, What fun it is to ride and sing A sleighing song

Read It In The Tabloids Bob Rivers

They got a picture and he looks all right. And Ross Perot's hanging out with ET. This woman had a kid at a hundred and three.

Joy To The World Bob Rivers

sounding joy Joy to the world All the boys and girls Joy to the people everywhere you see Joy to you and me Joy to the world All the boys and girls Joy to the people everywhere you see Joy to you and me He

Homeless On the Holidays Bob Rivers

the homeless on the holidays Cause no matter how filthy or uncombed If you’re down on your luck you can really graze For the holidays we throw those bums a bone I met a man who drank and smelled of pee he

Free As A Turd Bob Rivers

John wouldn't like this much, We used him as a crutch And now we feel so cheap, so... Please, This song's a turd, I'm not a Travelling Wilbury.

Chipmunks Roasting On An Open Fire Bob Rivers

And every hungry child is gonna spy To see if chipmunks really sing when they fry And so Im brushing on some honey glaze To keep them crisp and juicy too Lets hope they get served many times many ways

Getting Fatter All The Time Bob Rivers

It ain't no crime getting so much fatter all the time. I'm getting fatter all the time. Fatter, fatter, fatter. I'm getting fatter all the time. Fatter, fatter, fatter.

Minimum Wage Bob Rivers

A couple dollars, is just pocket change If I save my dough, For a month or so I couldn't buy a can of coke, It's a joke!

Bob Zididada

(verse) He hasn't got a single clue he a bit like me and you in surbubia-stonewashed jeans he dosen't know what he really means (brigde) Every single day when he walks to school every single day he try

Middle Age Waistline Bob Rivers

diet To prove I'm light And I don't peel the skin off of my chicken Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Deep fry Don't exercise And grow that middle age waistline It salivates my glands To smell a fresh roast ham So

We Wish You Weren't Living With Us Bob Rivers

living with us We wish you weren't living with us We wish you weren't living with us We're not happy you're here You drive everybody crazy You're hopelessly fat and lazy You're constantly in the way here So

How It Feels (To Be Old) Bob Rivers

So let's get to the point, I'm as mellow as the Doobies. And when I head to the commode, I just pray that I can go. And this must be how it feels, To be old.

Jingle Hells Bells Bob Rivers

gold chains pinned to brass nipple rings These are a few of my favorite things We like bar fights We like nose rings We like eating snails We always indulge in our favorite things No wonder our skin's so

It's The Most Fattening Time Of The Year Bob Rivers

straight down to your rear it's the scale flattening time of the year there'll be after meal dosing and arteries closing cholesterol levels will grow it's too cold to go jogging to brisk for tobogganing so

Bowel Moves Bob Rivers

(Bowel move) Ain't it funny how it takes so much time... (Bowel move) For a bowel move. (Bowel move) I wanna remember; I wanna remember; I wanna remember.

There's Another Santa Claus Bob Rivers

There's another Santa Claus There's another Santa Claus There's another Santa Claus there One at the mall and one in the window Sitting in a velvet chair Fat ones, skinny ones, tall ones, short ones Cheeks so

A Letter To Santa Bob Rivers

This year when you make your rounds, I hope you’ll take time stop by the house for a cup of coffee and some cookies, so that, uh, we can discuss an offer I know you can’t refuse.

Good Man Down Bob Siebenberg

They´re trying to frame my partner He was struggling through another show And as the sell-out crowd was leaving To finish the evening He was feeling very low Above the tinkling champain glasses

Rivers Of Babylon Sinead O\'Connor

By the rivers of Babylon Where he sat down And there he wept When he remebered Zion.

The Twelve Pains Of Christmas Bob Rivers

YOU'RE SO SMART, YOU RIG UP THE LIGHTS!!! And finding a Christmas tree

Visions Of Johanna (Alternate Take) Bob Dylan

The country music station plays soft, But there`s nothing, really nothing, to turn off. Just Louise and her lover so entwined And these visions of Johanna that conquer my mind.

JOLLY MON Jimmy Buffett

There is a tale that the island people tell Don't care if it is true 'cause I love it so well.

Rivers The Tallest Man On Earth

So there\'s longing in the shoulders now There was a wildness in that time Can\'t we now say Oh sweet were the hours But hours to find There was no way to live in simple dreams There was no straightness

Wreck The Malls Bob Rivers

"Wreck the malls this Christmas seasonFa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-laBlow your cash for no good reasonFa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-laPush your charge card to the limitFa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-laCheckbook ...

Foreigners Bob Rivers

"Foreigners...Infiltrate our nation,Foreigners...Take jobs from Americans.Hey, we want to be Americans,But we're illegal aliens,And we really like it here,Though we don't speak the language clear.F...

Manger 6 Bob Rivers

Hi, this is Tom Bodett for Manger 6. We know you have been traveling a lot this holiday season and you've probably beentold there is no room at the Inn. Well, that's just not the case here at Mange...

O Little Town Of Bethlehem Bob Rivers

"Oh little town of Bethlehem, how still we see thee lieAbove thy deep and dreamless sleep the silent stars go byYet in thy dark streets shineth, the everlasting lightThe hopes and fears of all the ...

Grahbe Yahbalz Bob Rivers

Grab your balls like Michael Jacksonfa la la la la la la la la laAdd some pelvic thrusting actionfa la la la la la la la la laDon we now our leather jacketsfa la la la la la la la la laPick that cr...

Spinning Reel Bob Rivers

(Spinning Wheel - Blood, Sweat & Tears)Rod goes upLine goes outSpinning reelFishing for troutCasting toward the bubbles and you reel it inHook a speckled rainbow watch the spinning reel spinYou got...

Beat Up Old Jetliner Bob Rivers

Goodbye to all my friends I've knownAnd the travel agent I trusted.I'm riding along on this beat-up old plane;Look out the window. All the rivets are rusted.As that ground crew pushes us backwardsO...

I Used To Rock And Roll All Night Bob Rivers

You loved us when the band was hot.And now we're gonna give it one more shot.We're gettin' old,We must be crazy.We're puttin' on the makeup again.It covers up a buncha wrinkled skin.You bring the b...

I'm A Weight Watcher Bob Rivers

I'm a Weight Watcher,I'm a Weight Watcher,Watchin' food go by.My, my, my.I'm a Weight Watcher,I'm a plate watcher.Here comes a cream pieMmmm, mmm, mmm.I was just a boyWhen I tried to eat my toy.Cou...

OJ's Trial Thing Bob Rivers

O.J., O.J.O.J., I think you did it.But I wanna know for sure.You expect people to believe that there are people actually playing golf at ten o' clock at night?Ya wanna know what I think?I think you...

The Twisted Chipmunk Song Bob Rivers

(All right you Chipmunks! Ready to sing your song?-I'll say we are!-Yeah!-Let's sing it now!Okay, Simon?-Okay!Okay, Theodore?-Okay!Okay, Alvin? Alvin? ALVIN!-OKAY!!!)Christmas, Christmas time is ne...

The Angel Bob Rivers

The angel rides with hunch-backed children, poison oozing from his engineWieldin' love as a lethal weapon, on his way to hubcap heavenBaseball cards poked in his spokes, his boots in oil he's patie...