Who does she think she is?
That girl has tangled
with the wrong man.
No one says 'no' to Gaston!
Darn right!
Dismissed. Rejected.
Publicly humiliated.
Why, it's more than I can bear.
More beer?
What for? Nothing helps. I'm disgraced.
Who, you? Never. Gaston,
you've got to pull yourself together.
Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Gaston
Looking so down in the dumps
Every guy here'd love to be you,
Gaston Even when taking your lumps
There's no man in town as admired as you
You're everyone's favorite guy
Everyone's awed and inspired by you
And it's not very hard to see why!
No one's slick as Gaston,
no one's quick as Gaston
No one's next as incredibly thick as Gaston
For there's no man in town half as manly
Perfect, a pure paragon!
You can ask any Tom, Dick, or Stanley
And they'll tell you who's team
they'd prefer to be on!
No one's been like Gaston,
a king-pin like Gaston
No one's got a swell cleft
in his chin like Gaston
As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating!
My, what a guy that Gaston!
Give five hurrahs, give twelve hip-hips
Gaston is the best and the rest is all drips!
No one fights like Gaston,
no one bites like Gaston
In a wrestling match,
nobody bites like Gaston
For there's no one as burly and brawny
As you see I've got biceps to spare
Not a bit of him scraggly or scrawny
That's right! And every last bit
of me's covered with hair!
No one hits like Gaston,
matches wits like Gaston
In a spitting match,
nobody spits like Gaston!
I'm especially good at expectorating! Ptooey!
Ten points for Gaston!
When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs
Every morning to help me get large!
And now that I'm grown,
I eat five dozen eggs
So I'm roughly the size of a barge!
No one shoots like Gaston,
makes those beauts like Gaston
Then goes tromping around
wearing boots like Gaston
I use antlers in all of my decorating!
My what a guy! Gaston!!!!!!!